Balancing Parenting and Entrepreneurship: 7 Strategies That Saved My Sanity

As an entrepreneur and author with two young kids and a spouse who works full-time, I need to be honest: at times, it absolutely sucks. It's in my nature to have TONS of ideas and the almost incessant need to execute on all of them, but I never have enough time for everything. Feeling “held back” is hard on my best days.

Rather than wallow in self-pity — which, let’s be honest, I still do from time to time — here are seven things that have gotten me through up until this point:

1. When you're with the children, just be with the children.

I used to try to multi-task and do work while I was with my kids. It’s a fool’s errand. You’re not doing a great job working and you’re definitely not being a great parent. So, after about four weeks of feeling super frustrated trying this approach, I just gave in. I committed to being wholly present when I am with my kids. I focus entirely on the task at hand, which is caring for my children with love, patience, and humor. No computer. No phone. Just focus. Once I committed to being entirely present and joyful with them, rather than feeling like I “should” be working, it changed so much for me.I now cherish the time I get to spend with my little man.

2. Prioritize “must do” vs “nice to do.”

Given that you just don’t have as much time as you used to, it is helpful to be honest about what absolutely must be accomplished to get you closer to your goal versus what is nice to get done. I make a list at the beginning of every week and only work on my “must do” list.

3. Keep the window before or after kid bedtime as an optional inspiration hour.

Our kids go down around 7:45 pm. I hold the hour from 8:00 to  9:00 as an optional inspiration hour. It’s a place where I don’t feel obligated to work, but where I allow myself to work if I am feeling inspired by something. I don’t do tasks on my “must do” list during this time, but I do things that I truly enjoy that get me closer to my goal. Specifically, for me, this is when I do most of my writing. I have a hard stop at 9:00 pm and use the last hour before I go to sleep to be with my husband and do something that we both enjoy that has absolutely nothing to do with work.

4. Continually ask yourself what you have control over and what you don’t.

The entire inspiration for this article stems from what happened to me today — it’s a Monday, and at 11:00 am this morning, our internet went out for the entire day. I found myself on the phone with a robot at Comcast cry-screaming, “DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND!? IT’S ONE OF MY ONLY FU*KING DAYS ALL WEEK THAT I GET TO WORK AND YOU’RE TAKING IT AWAY FROM ME!” This was a live shot of me on the phone with an automated system.

 After hanging up, I asked myself the question: what do I have control over right now? And the answer was, “how you respond.” So, rather than repeatedly hate-calling Comcast (which I 100 percent thought about doing), I looked at my “must do” list and found things that didn’t involve the internet. Once they were done, I used the space to take a long shower and journal. I let go of any attachment to what I thought the day was going to look like and everything that I wanted to accomplish. Instead, I simply accepted with a smile how I could move forward based on what I could control. 

5. Make the space to do activities that keep the ideas flowing.

I don’t know about you, but most of my great ideas come either while I am taking a walk or on a bike ride. There’s something about getting the space away from everything that gets my idea-generator going. I’m sure you have something like this too. Knowing what mine is, I either actively do this with my kids in tow; I request the space to do this and ask my husband to watch the kids for even 30 minutes while I go on a walk; or my husband and I make the space to go on a bike ride together early in the morning with the bike trailer. This space is sacred for entrepreneurs, and it is also the easiest to throw away when you’re dealing with a compressed working schedule. Don’t throw it away. It’s your superpower. Find a way to access this space at least once a week, if not multiple times.  

Pro tip: if, like me, you get a lot of ideas while you’re walking, take the kid(s) in a stroller and download a voice recorder app. I literally walk around and talk into my voice recorder app most of the time I go on walks. My kids get some fresh air and scenery while I ideate. #WinWin.

6. Find time to feed your soul with media that keeps your brain active.

My usual M.O. is to want to “zone out” to funny shows at the end of the day. And while it’s great for us to relax our brains, I also find it’s important to continue to feed our brains with content that makes us think. Sometimes my biggest breakthroughs come from listening to, reading, or watching something that actually makes me think differently. I incorporate these things into my life by sometimes listening to podcasts while I walk rather than talking into my voice recorder app, having designated reading time before I go to sleep, or my husband and I replace one show a week with something inspiring, like a TED talk. While it feels easy to fill every waking minute with either work or childcare, it’s mission critical to keep stimulating your brain.

7. Redefine “good enough” — and cultivate acceptance of this new definition.

With extremely limited time to work, I have had to find a new level of acceptance on what “good enough” actually means. My new motto has become, “Will it get the job done?” If the answer is yes — even if it’s not up to my typical standards — I move on to the next thing. And not only do I move on, I also have been cultivating an ability to graciously accept my work product and not beat myself up if what I am doing isn’t quite on par with my expectations.

When I'm with my kids, by committing to these seven habits, I’ve found that I can still be a present parent without sacrificing my entrepreneurial spirit or losing some of my best ideas. And on the days where I’m lucky enough to have childcare — and internet — you better believe I’m bringing those ideas to life in service of my purpose.