What Brené Brown Taught Me About Embracing Social Media Discomfort

Standing on the 50 Yard Line

When I was in high school, I was nominated to be homecoming queen. In my school’s infinite wisdom, they forced the three finalists for homecoming queen and king to march out onto the football field at halftime of the game to hear the announcement of the winners. As a profoundly insecure 17-year-old girl, I had to stand in front of a crowd and be judged on whether or not I won a popularity contest. Not only did I not win, but the winners ended up being — and this is true — my best friend and...my boyfriend.

I had to stand on the field in front of hundreds of my peers and try to hold my shit together while my bestie and boyfriend waved at the crowd. The drama of this moment for high-school Meghan cannot be overstated. Not only did my classmates not vote for me, they intentionally voted that my best friend and my boyfriend should be together. Good stuff. I kept painfully smiling through my tears as I blubbered to my friend, “I’m just SO happy for you! No, really, just sooooo happy. This is all just so great.”  

Fast forward 20 years: when my publisher strongly encouraged me to step into the social media spotlight, my inner 17-year-old re-emerged. That fear of being publicly judged returned with full force.

Social Media Feels Like a Popularity Contest

Social media has always felt like a huge popularity contest, where you put yourself out there only to be publicly judged by how many “likes” you get (#Flashback). So, I avoided social media for years. Even as a public speaker and CEO, I didn’t create an Instagram account until 2020. Writing captions, posting photos, and promoting my work made me feel vulnerable and uncomfortable.

From that deep place of discomfort, I went on a walk and listened to the vulnerability guru, Brené Brown. Her first podcast entitled FFT (which stands for “F*cking First Time,” like when you’re trying something new and have no idea what you’re doing) brought up three concepts that helped me push through my insecurities and put myself out there. 

Brené Brown’s Advice Helped Me Shift

1. Stay Authentic To Who You Truly Are

I stopped trying to mimic other online personalities and committed to showing up as my imperfect, honest self. As soon as I did, the response was overwhelmingly positive.

2. Release Expectations

Brené  (because of course she and I are on a first-name basis at this point) mentioned one of her favorite quotes: “Expectations are just resentments waiting to happen.”

When we launch something new or put ourselves out there, it’s ingrained in us to set expectations. Then we doggedly chase those expectations and feel terrible if we don’t hit them.  Releasing expectations and, instead, doing things that feel meaningful, fun, and in alignment with my purpose has been a game changer for overcoming discomfort.  

3. Stand Strong In the Discomfort

When we put ourselves out there in any way (whether it be for homecoming court, a social media post, or launching an entire new business), discomfort is inevitable. To imagine that you can do something new and that it’s all going to feel great is simply ridiculous. So, expect the discomfort. Know it’s coming. True courage comes from staying present and grounded while that discomfort washes over you, and holding strong.

Learning to Embrace Discomfort

Putting myself out there remains challenging, but I owe it to the 17-year-old version of me to keep going. I see now that standing in the middle of the field back then was an act of real courage.

I’m continuing to show up, even when it feels hard. And every step forward is a victory over my fear of judgment.

Key Takeaways

• Social media discomfort is real and common, especially for women leaders.

• Authenticity is the key to feeling good about showing up online.

• Releasing expectations can reduce stress and resentment.

• Discomfort is inevitable, but courage means standing strong anyway.